


can i go where you go

by LauraRoslinForever



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, I hope, I know right, Kid Skye | Daisy Johnson, Momma May, Philinda - Freeform, Philinda Christmas, Soft may, baby feels, pregnant may, so many feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21764395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraRoslinForever/pseuds/LauraRoslinForever
Summary: Phil is offered a glimpse of what life could have been like if he was given other choices along the way.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May, Philinda
Comments: 89
Kudos: 203





	1. mission gone bad

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and happy early Christmas! This is just a little retelling/heavily inspired of/by It's a Wonderful Life and The Family Man. Set at the end of season four but ignoring season five and space cause Christmas FLUFF and let's be honest, they deserved a break. And oh! This story idea was mostly inspired by Taylor Swift's song, Lover. You'll see why. Anyhoo, enjoy!

No matter how hard he tried to not get himself killed, he seemed to get close to the edge an awful lot.

Getting a scepter through the heart was bad enough. Then he got shot up in the framework, the only thing that saved his ass happened to be that it wasn’t real and they happened to get out just in time, even though those bullets sure as hell had felt real. 

Now, after getting back from and surviving all that, he’d gone and got shot again. If he’d only listened to Melinda, he wouldn’t be cold and bleeding out on some warehouse floor waiting for extraction the day before Christmas. He could have been back up in the air where it was warm, trying to talk himself into asking her- the _real_ her- into joining him for a drink later and maybe, if she said yes, and he didn’t manage to mess things up, she might like to go on a date with him.

He wasn’t sure she’d agree, not under the current circumstances, which were really confusing for him to begin with because he was pretty sure that they were starting to take steps toward one another and not away. But that was before Radcliffe captured her and he had to fight like hell to get her back. Certainly before she started having long conversations with an ops guy they'd only just met when they'd taken up residence at the light house.

What this new guy could be talking to her about baffled him. For these last few weeks he'd caught them talking in hushed tones in the halls and mess hall. He tried like hell to swallow down his disappointment, but it had been easier said than done.

He wasn’t sure where he’d gone wrong? Maybe she thought he’d been dragging his feet to get back to where they’d been? He felt being cautious was the way to get back in her good graces as he had shared the Haig, and well, kissed her LMD. But, in his defense, it wasn’t like he’d known it wasn’t her. Should he have? Yes, he probably should have. Which was why he’d been slowly trying to make it up to her by doing small things like getting her tea and making sure she was comfortable with her new room because as much as he liked the lighthouse, it was big and kinda drafty. He didn’t know about her, but he got cold a lot.

Somewhere through the pounding in his head, he could hear Melinda’s voice. Along with getting shot, he’d fallen a good fifty feet off a platform, he was pretty sure from the amount of pain, he hit his head pretty hard, too. Her voice was firm as she told him to wake up, but he couldn’t seem to open his eyes, no matter how broken her voice sounded or how much she pleaded with him. It broke his heart to hear the desperation in her voice. He'd love nothing more than to reassure her, but the most he had managed was a moan. 

He really just wanted to sleep. When he woke up he’d apologize for worrying her... at length, because she'd probably be really mad.

After he slept for a bit...

A flash of light and Phil felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over his head and down his back. 

He blinked and startled, he found himself on his feet. He turned around on instinct and looked around. Two things became clear; he wasn’t hurt, and he was alone in... an interrogation room? 

What the...?

“Hey!” he called out into the empty room. "Where the hell am I?"

A few heartbeats passed in silence before the sound of footsteps could be heard. The man who stepped into the room made him take an involuntary step back. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. 

“Hey, Phil,” Nick Fury said, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. Phil had to admit, the man had the same easy stride and confidence of the real Nick Fury. “Looks like you got yourself into some trouble.”

Phil crossed his arms over his chest trying to keep the fact that he was completley on edge from being conveyed. One minute he was lying on a cement floor with Melinda telling him to wake up and the next his friend who’d been in hiding for some time now was casually talking with him like no time had passed between them. “No more than usual," he said with what he hoped was a casual shrug. "What is this?”

The man smiled at him. “Straight to the point as always. One of the many things I’ve always liked most about you.” He took a seat, settling back into the metal chair looking completely at ease. “What do you need, Phil?”

His brow furrowed. “Need? I don’t need anything.”

“Then why not go back to the ones you love? They’re all waiting for you.”

So... wait... Was this was all in his head? “I want to.”

“Then by all means.” Fury waved his hand as if all he needed to do was click his heels three times and all this would disappear and he'd be back in the warehouse blinking up at May.

“What is this? I mean, I’ve never done acid, but this seems like one hell of a trip.”

Fury chuckled. “I assure you this is not a trip. I am very real.”

“All right, I’ll play. Who are you then? An alien? Some kind of hallucination? I obviously got hit on the head pretty hard. What are you not telling me? What is this?”

“This is the beginning of what we call a glimpse.”

“A glimpse? A glimpse of what?”

“A future you could have had. One you might still have a chance at if you’d just... open your eyes.”

Okay, yep, he was definitely out of it. Phil shook his head. “Thanks, but I’m fine. I like my life just how it is.”

“Do you?”

“I do. I have a great job… you know, when I’m not being shot at or stabbed through the heart. I’ve got great colleagues, friends…”

“And May?”

He narrowed his eyes. What was he getting at? “Yes, May is and always has been a big part of my life. I care about her very much.”

“She seems to care about you, too, judging by the way she hasn’t left your side.”

He swallowed past the tightness in his throat. “That’s what we do. We’re there for each other.”

“She’s always got your back.”

He didn’t know where this was going but he answered the question without hesitation. “Yes, she does.” 

“What about you? Do you always have hers?”

Fury’s words brought him up short. His jaw clenched. “What kind of question is that?”

Fury got to his feet. “What if I were to tell you you’re running out of time? Does the name Jennings mean anything to you?”

How could he know about that? Phil rolled his eyes at himself so hard he should probably be facing the other way. May would have been proud. “Okay, you’ve got me. I’ve hit my head pretty hard. My subconscious is going off on some kind of insecure tangent seeing Melinda with someone else. Whatever I saw this morning was nothing but professionals laughing over a beverage.”

“Doesn’t she usually meet _you_ in the morning?”

“I’ve been on a few long missions… We’re trying to get things back on track…” 

Perfect. He was defending himself to himself.

“And you’ve left her alone while you’ve been getting things back on track.” Fury's mocking tone had his eyes narrowing.

“Can you get to the point? I’d really like to enjoy some of the unconsciousness that comes with being unconscious.” 

Nick shook his head with a light chuckle. “No can do, Phil. You’re about to take a small trip. Now it may be a bit startling at first, but it’s time you take a moment and see how your life might have turned out if you’d been given a few different choices along the way.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t have time for some kind of trip down an alternate universe memory lane. It’s Christmas Eve and I’ve got things to do.”

“Oh, trust me, you’ll want to go where you’re going.”

Phil doubted that, but what was he going to do? Argue with himself some more? This had to be some side effect from his injury. Soon enough he’d wake up and this... whatever this was would be over. “Doesn’t sound like you’re giving me a choice.”

Nick smiled. “Non-negotiable, I’m afraid. I’ll be seeing you around.”

* * *

There was a sound and then Phil’s eyes opened with a start. He blinked up at a white ceiling and only had a few moments to get his bearings before a heavy weight settled over his legs. He jolted as he sat up from where he'd been lying, coming nose to nose with an excited, overly furry... golden retriever? Phil immediately grimaced as he received lick after lick to the face. He put his hand up to ward off any future licks, but the young pup didn’t seem to mind. His tail wagged furiously before he let out a bark while he turned in a circle before running out of the room like a shot.

No longer in danger of being attacked, he blinked, taking in his surroundings. The room he was in was a large bedroom. The walls were white, except for the one behind the wooden bed frame, which was a dark navy blue. A set of closed French doors were directly to his left that was covered with sheer curtains bathing the room in the gentle morning sun. In front of him were two open doors, one leading into a closet and the other, a bathroom. Dark furniture that matched the bed frame was sporadically placed throughout the room. It was neat yet comfortable. Lived in. 

The bed he was in was large and soft with plush pillows, grey sheets with a matching duvet cover over a fluffy down comforter, and… his eyes widened, he wasn’t alone.

Whoever she was, she was facing away from him, the only thing he could see was a familiar curtain of dark hair that spilled down her back and onto the bed. What the hell? Was it… “May?” her name left him in a gruff whisper. But why would she be in bed with him?

He didn’t have to wait long to find out because in the next moment the woman groaned. “Phil, it’s your turn.”

His turn? His turn for what? His heart raced. What the hell was happening?

“Dadddddyyyy!”

Oh... _God_. 

In the next second a little girl with long dark hair came charging down the hall and into the room. She jumped up on the bed and he watched mesmerized at the sight of her crawling over to him. Those eyes… he knew those eyes. “Daisy?”

The little girl giggled and launched at him. Her arms going around his neck, hugging him close. “Mornin!”

Beside him, Melinda yawned. He looked at her just as mesmerized as he had been with Daisy. Did she always look this beautiful in the morning? 

She swept the comforter away from her and got to her feet. If Phil had been startled by sharing a bed with her, he forgot how to breathe at the sight of her. “I need caffeine. I don’t care if I’m pregnant.”

What… He didn't… pregnant? His eyes which were probably wide as saucers once again fell from her face down, down, down to the very pronounced curve of her belly. 

Daisy giggled again, drawing his gaze with her small hand on his cheek away from Melinda onto her. Her eyes bore into his, narrowing slightly like she was trying to figure him out. “Why are you acting silly, Daddy?”

Melinda snorted as she wrapped a thin robe around her curved form. “Because your daddy likes to joke around.”

“Stop being silly, Daddy!” Daisy exclaimed with all the exuberance of a small child as she got to her feet. She began to bounce as she said, “It’s Saturday! We get to go get a Christmas tree today!”

He rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers, hoping the pressure might wake his unconscious self up. When it didn’t work, he repeated, “Christmas tree?”

Melinda raised a brow, giving him a look he knew well. The same look she gave to him whenever he’d gone and gotten himself into something he wanted her help to get out of. “You’re the one who promised her.”

He swallowed trying not to panic. “Yeah, of course, sweetheart.”

“Yay!” If it were possible, she bounced even higher.

Melinda went over to the side of the bed, where she held out her hand. The little girl went over to her and stepped into her waiting arms. The soft picture before him made his chest tighten with an unexpected emotion. Melinda drew away from her, and tucking her fine hair from around her face out of her eyes, told her, “You can’t go unless you get dressed and have breakfast.”

“Okay!”

He watched Daisy run from the room as he got up from bed. He didn't know where to go or what to do so he stood there hoping Melinda left him alone for a moment do he could figure out what to do. To his horror, she did the opposite. She padded her way over to him and looked up at him. He wasn’t sure, but he could swear he felt his heart stop in his chest for a couple of beats. Was it just him or did she look younger? It was hard to tell since he'd always sworn Melinda aged in reverse.

“So, um…”

Her smile faded into a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Melinda, I…” How did he explain it? Should he even? If this was just a figment of his imagination he’d just need to ride out this fantasy, but what if it was something else? What if this was some alien mind control thing he needed to fight? “Something happened,” he started. 

Her hand shot up between them, interrupting him. “Hold on to that thought. The baby’s on my bladder.” She moved in the direction of the bathroom, calling out, “Can you start breakfast? And don’t forget to walk Steve,” over her shoulder as the door closed behind her.

As if he heard his name, the pup chose that moment to run into the room. Phil dropped his gaze down to where the pup sat at his feet. “Steve, huh?” The dog barked up at him in reply. Phil nodded. Whatever this was he was sure as hell on brand. “Bet that was my idea."


	2. it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! You guys are amazing! Thank you for all the kudos and comments! I'm so happy you're all enjoying this story as much as I am, and just so you know, I'll be posting a chapter every other day until the 23rd, and then one every day, wrapping it up on Christmas. ;) See what I did there. haha.

On his walk that morning Phil decided the best thing to do was just embrace what was happening to him. Whatever was going on in his mind was merely a by-product of the blow to the head he’d received. None of it was real. He just had to relax and wait it out. The more he thought about it, it seemed a lot like lucid dreaming. He’d heard about it, but never thought he’d ever experienced it. He couldn’t say it was a completely terrible experience, though he should probably think deeper into his relationships with Daisy and Melinda. It was straightforward with Daisy. This reality he created made sense as he considered her the closest thing he’d ever have to a daughter, but marrying Melinda and having another child… 

Whatever _that_ was he’d figure out when this was all over. Whenever that was.

Two hours later he caught his reflection in a window of the Build-A-Bear shop and brushed his fingers through his much thicker locks. “Damn. Have I really lost this much hair?”

It was truly amazing and well, disheartening to see for himself what ten years (yes, _they_ were younger. He’d figured it out when he’d found his wallet and checked his ID) could do to a person. Then again, stress could have been a factor. He contemplated that for about five seconds until his mind reminded him none of this was real and shook his head at himself.

“You’re not still obsessing about your hair, are you?” Melinda’s reproachful voice came behind him

He saw her reflection beside him and turned towards her. “Hm?”

She may have been younger and pregnant, but the trademark frown she reserved only for him was still very much the same. “It’s not thinning. You need to stop.”

He let Melinda drag him away from the window without further comment. What could he say to her? That he knew the future of his hairline and it wasn’t good? This version of himself had apparently fussed about it often if it annoyed her enough for her to comment. Little did she knew he was more impressed at its thickness than annoyed by it. 

If only… 

Her hand tightened around his. “Phil, what’s wrong?”

“What?” He blinked up at her and found her watching him. Her brows were drawn together, her eyes studying him with a worried gaze. He wanted to be honest with her and tell her that this all wasn’t real. That she and Daisy and their baby were just a product of an injury and how much he’d been fighting with his feelings over it all. But he couldn’t. Whether or not this… fantasy life was real or not, he felt a need to protect her from all that. “Nothing.”

She gave him a look that said he wasn’t fooling her, and she opened her mouth, no doubt to argue with him but then Daisy’s voice called out, “Look! I see the trees!”

He looked in the direction she was pointing and nearly groaned aloud.

“All right, which one should we get?” Melinda asked looking between him and Daisy.

Well aware they had gone out intending to get a Christmas tree, Phil balked. He assumed they’d drop by a Christmas tree lot on the way home, not in the middle of a Macy’s display. “You don’t want one of these, do you, Daisy? They’re all fake.”

Melinda’s head fell to the side, and he watched her rub her palm over her belly. It was a simple act, a small detail that shouldn’t have sent a twinge of love for her straight to his heart but it did. “I thought you wanted to give one of these a try?”

Tearing his gaze from her caressing her belly, he shook his head. “I’ve changed my mind. Christmas isn’t Christmas without a real tree.” He had many fond memories of his childhood and going with his mother to buy a real tree every year. Had he had children he would have continued that tradition. Now that he was here, he might as well keep himself in character. “What do you do with these? Buy fake pine scent?”

Melinda, who had wandered over to a small display, held up a small round tin. Twisting the top she brought it up to her nose and inhaled. “It comes in candles. Smells like pine to me.”

“Let me smell, Mommy!” Daisy ran over to her and made a dramatic showing of sniffing the candle for herself. “Mmm.”

Phil’s eyes narrowed and closed the distance between him and Melinda. “Give it here,” he said and ignoring Melinda’s small smirk, smelled it. It smelled like… pine. Melinda met his eyes and raised a brow as though daring him to argue against it. “That’s not tree smell, Daisy. It’s imposter scent.”

Daisy giggled. 

Melinda rolled her eyes and took the item back from him, then replacing the top, put it back on the shelf. “Your daddy’s silly. We passed a Christmas tree place on the way here if you want to get a real one, but if you think I’m helping you drag it in the house if you get a big one like that one year, Phil Coulson, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Phil scoffed at the absurdity. He’d never ask her to. Especially not now. “As if I’d ask you to.”

While they skipped the tree, Mel and Daisy decided they needed new decorations. After spending over an hour filling up a cart full of lights and bulbs and little reindeer and Santa gnomes they finally headed towards the registers.

The lines were well, atrocious. Beside him, Melinda sighed and pressed her lips together. Patience, even here, was never one of her virtues. He almost laughed but then something outside of the store caught her attention making her eyes widen slightly.

“You wanna go with me to Starbucks, baby girl?” Daisy grinned up at her, nodding enthusiastically. She looked over at him and said, “You pay for these. Daisy and I are going to go get us hot chocolates.”

“All right,” he said, happy to stand in line for them so his girls could go and do something other than wait. He blinked at himself. Had he really just thought of them as _his girls_? So engrossed in his own head, he’d been unprepared when she lifted up on her toes and kissed him on the lips.

He was still in a stupor as he watched Melinda take Daisy’s hand and walk from the store. It had felt so real! Though it only lasted a second, her lips were soft and warm and sent a shiver straight down his spine. This was so strange. Good strange. A fantasy fulfilled kinda strange, but strange nonetheless.

With packages in his hands, he left the store. Outside, there was a man in a black coat and Santa hat ringing a bell. He shifted the packages to one hand and dug in his pocket for some spare change to drop into the donation bucket. However, just as he neared the voice of the bell ringer, a voice he knew all too well spoke to him, halting him in his tracks. “Hey, Phil. What’s shaking?” 

His eyes widened, and he took a step back. “What the hell?”

Fury walked over to him, his gaze dropping curiously, peeking in his bags. “You out doing some Christmas shopping with the family?”

Phil felt suddenly exhausted and let out a wearily sigh. “I am. A cozy little delusion I’ve dropped myself into while I recover.”

Fury clutched his chest. “I’m offended.” Phil doubted that very much. Fury took his hand from his chest and waved it around, gesturing out into the shopping center. “Is that really what you think this is? A delusion?”

“It’s the only possible explanation.”

The look Fury gave him could only be described as disappointed. “Or it isn’t, and this is all real.”

Phil snorted in disbelief. He had to be lying. There was no way this was real and he called him out on it. “If that’s the case, you need to give their Phil back to them. It’s not fair. They’re a family”

Nick shook his head almost sadly. “Man, and here I thought you’d be smarter than most. You are their Phil.”

Anger on behalf of the family he had and didn’t have flared up in him. “Whatever the hell this is, it needs to end. I can’t keep pretending to be someone I’m not!”

“You don’t have a choice, Phil. Unless you want to leave them. Go off on your own while you figure out what it is you need.”

His jaw clenched. “I won’t do that.”

Nick smiled. “Then I suggest you make the best out of the situation and enjoy this little glimpse of life while you can.”

_While he could…_

He knew it. It wasn’t real. Soon enough he’d wake up from this.“So you’re saying there will be an end? When? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month?”

Another smile graced the man’s lips. “That’s up to you.” He started to walk away leaving the donation tin and hat behind. “However long it takes you to figure it out,” he called over his shoulder.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Figure what out?” Phil called back.

Fury turned, walking backward and gestured to the left. “Here comes your wife and daughter. See you on the flip side, Phil.”

“Who were you talking to, Daddy?” Daisy gazed up at him with her warm brown eyes. She had a cookie in the shape of a snowman in one hand and hot chocolate on the other. 

“A really annoying salesman, sweetheart.”

Melinda handed him a large cup. Her gaze flicked from him to the corner Fury had disappeared around. “Someone trying to sell you an all exclusive trip to Sweden again?”

He wished. Phil sighed and took a deep drink of his beverage and... oh, how he loved her. It was coffee. He gave her a genuine smile. “Something like that.” Then, noticing like Daisy, Melinda had a small treat as well he realized that it was well past lunchtime. His stomach growled. “So lunch?”

Daisy gasped and pulled on his hand. “Can we have burgers and milkshakes?!”

Phil chuckled and smiled down at her. Her eyes shone up at him with the same warmth and eager enthusiasm as adult Daisy. “You bet.”


	3. it's a wonderful life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized the timeline for this story is a bit off. lol I had this big, "oh, duh," moment in the car driving to work today. Daisy should be older than she is or they should be even younger but this is all for the Christmas fluff so, oh well. Haha.

Family life, though foreign and unfamiliar, tugged at his heart more than he wanted to admit. He’d forgone this sort of life for S.H.I.E.L.D. For the job. To protect the world. He always thought knowing that he helped save countless lives would be more than enough. 

But now, seeing a happy content Melinda, tucking a drowsy Daisy into bed made him question all those decisions.

“Good night, sweet pea,” Melinda whispered, then placed a kiss to her brow. 

“G’night, Momma,” Daisy replied in her soft nine-year-old voice. 

The sweet exchange between them did things to his heart. 

Melinda walked over to where he stood, leaning against the doorframe. Her hand came to rest on his arm as she lifted on her toes, kissing his cheek. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

He nodded trying to keep his mind from conjuring images of a naked Melinda. 

When she was gone he went over to Daisy and kissed her brow and murmured his goodnight just like Melinda had because that’s what parents did… or so he thought. 

Just as he got to the door to turn out the light, Daisy asked, “You’re not my daddy, are you?

He paused with his hand hovering over the light switch, his heart hammering in his chest. He turned back toward her. “Why do you say that?”

“Because my daddy knows I like pancakes with chocolate chips and whipped cream even though Mommy tells him it’s too much sugar.”

They’d had breakfast for dinner that night. He’d asked Daisy how she wanted her pancakes, which had drawn a raised brow from Mel and a frown from the little girl. He’d hoped his slip-up had all been forgotten, but apparently not.

“Daisy, I’m just… I’m-”

Her voice was soft, nervous yet her chin rose and her eyes hardened as though she were pushing through her fear of his answer. “Are you an alien?”

He glanced at the door to make sure Melinda wasn’t standing there in on the conspiracy waiting to catch him. Because if Daisy suspected… “What? Daisy, no.”

She sat up in bed. All traces of sleepiness gone from her eyes. “Are you an Inhuman?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Are you going to hurt my daddy?”

The small tremble in her voice broke his heart. The Daisy he knew never knew her parents. But to this Daisy, they were all she knew. He and Mel must have adopted her at a very young age. The youngest photo of her with them he spotted she must have been under a year. Seeing her so small and vulnerable made a need in him so strong and deep rise to reassure and comfort her. He went over and sat on her bed. “No, Daisy, I promise. He’s…” How could he explain this to her without frightening her? He couldn’t tell her this wasn’t real. He decided the best way to tell her was to play into his Daisy's natural curiosity and a love of adventure. “He’s away on a mission. I’m still him just… a… another version of him.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “A mission?” she echoed with a little touch of awe.

“Yep,” he said, nodding. A thought came to him then of an excited Daisy telling her mother that Daddy was off on a mission, and he, imposter Phil was there in his place. He’d have fun explaining that to Mel. “But it’s a very secret mission.”

“Does Mommy know?” she asked.

He shook his head. “No, and we can’t tell her. We don’t want to upset her right now because of the baby, but I promise, your daddy is just fine and he’ll be home real soon.”

“Okay, I believe you.”

In that moment, he hated himself. The subterfuge, however unintentional, felt very much like betrayal. He forced a smile while he reached out and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “That a girl. Get some sleep.”

He closed the door to Daisy’s room and went downstairs to walk Steve and clear his head, but the pup was only interested in rolling in the freshly fallen snow so their walk was over just as soon as Steve did his business. After toweled off Steve, he showered and tried to get ready for bed as if he would if he had done this every night for ten years, acutely aware of Melinda’s every move.

He tried not to stare at all the pictures of them around the house and their room, but he caught sight of one in their room that made him pause. It was their wedding, somewhere on a beach with her parents, Maria, and Natasha and… his brows rose. Captain America?

Steve Rodgers was at his wedding? A soft scoff of a laugh left him as he shook his head. He would imagine up something like that. 

“I thought you were going to pass out when he showed up at the wedding as Nat’s plus one.” Melinda’s voice drifted into the room. “I was worried for a second he was going to upstage me.”

His lips tipped up in a smirk as he turned his gaze away from the picture and onto her. “As dreamy as he is, he doesn’t hold a candle to you.”

He turned and swallowed taking her in. She wore a black tank top the stretched adorably over her belly with soft matching cotton pants. Dressed up or bare in her pajamas, she never failed to take his breath away.

She smiled softly, endearingly. “Flatter.”

His heartbeat picked up as she made her way over to the bed. _Their_ bed. The bed he was about to share with her. He suddenly felt like the air in the room had gotten thinner. Sure they’d shared a bed before, but this was different. Here, they were married. 

Her eyebrows rose, and he realized he’d been standing there, staring. 

She pulled back the covers and got into bed. “You’ve been quiet today. Anything you want to talk about?”

He shook his head moving over to the bed where he as cooly as possible pulled back the covers and sat down beside her. Even with enough space to fit Daisy and their dog, he still felt her presence acutely. “No, I’m fine. I’m just…”

“Bored?”

That brought him up short. “Bored?”

She reached over and took a small container from the bedside table. He watched as she uncapped it, dipping her fingers in then rubbing the white substance on between her hands then up her arms as she explained, “You get this way every year during winter break.”

He tried not to think about how good and familiar her lotion smelled and instead focused on her comment. What did _during break_ mean? He could only assume he had a job here that involved a holiday break like he had in the framework. He remembered using the time to make and stock up on his soap. Maybe he was a teacher here, too? “Yeah, that’s true. I guess I just need to find a hobby.”

“You could always paint the baby’s room,” she told him with a playful tone. Before he could answer, she leaned over and kissed him. It was over in an instant just as it had been earlier that day. Far too soon if you asked him. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re running out of time. She’ll be here before we know it.”

_She._

His heart swelled. They were having a girl. And just like that, images flooded his mind. He could picture her. A little girl with Mel’s eyes, dark hair, and smile. Maybe she’d have his inquisitiveness? His fondness for history and love for classic cars. One thing was for sure, she’d wrap him around her little finger just like Mel had and just as Daisy had. Suddenly, _his girls_ meant a whole lot more to him. His throat felt tight, and he wasn’t sure how, but eventually he managed a croaky, “I’ve noticed.”

She clicked off the lamp beside the bed, plunging the room into darkness lit only by the half-moon outside. 

He couldn’t get over it.

_A baby._

He and Melinda May were having a child. Well, in this dream of his anyway.

She yawned, deep and long and it made him smile at how incredibly domestic they were like this. “Tired?” he asked her. 

“So tired. This baby wears me out faster than a sparring session with Nat.”

He laughed. Not long after they joined S.H.I.E.L.D. he had the pleasure of watching them spar. All bets were on Nat, all except for one. He smugly took everyone’s money when Melinda came out on top. She walked over to him after, her skin had shone with perspiration, her chest heaving with heavy breaths, but her eyes had been bright. He realized he’d been in love with her even back then. “That’s hard to believe.”

She turned away from him, then scooted towards him. He swallowed at her intention. So he was the big spoon? All right, he could handle that. Holding Melinda while they slept, he could do that.

He could do that forever. 

“Will you rub my back, please?”

He drew in a deep breath. “Sure.”

He drew away slightly and moved his hand down until he could grasp the hem of her shirt. He pulled it up and slipped his hand under because what husband gives his wife a back rub over her clothes? Her skin was warm and soft as he kneaded the muscles being careful not to use too much pressure. He remembered hearing somewhere something about how messages weren’t good for pregnant women… but he couldn’t be sure of the specifics. Still, that was his child, and he’d rather be safe than sorry.

“A little lower,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. He did as instructed and a sigh escaped her lips followed by a groan. Her back arched into his touch as she sleepily murmured, “Mm, love you.”

The words stuck in his throat only a moment before he let himself whisper, “Love you, too.”

He kept his focus on the task at hand and not on how much saying those words aloud affected him or how soft her skin was or how tempted he was to kiss her bare shoulder. They may have been married in this fantasy of his, but guilt nagged at him that this wasn’t really her and how he’d want to save an experience like this for the real Melinda. 

His Melinda.

Soon he heard her deep and even breaths. Giving in to temptation, he leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to her shoulder because wherever her Phil was; he was more than certain it was something he’d do. 


	4. let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Sunday went by as quickly as Saturday. It snowed most of the day keeping them indoors. He spent a lot of time making tea for Melinda and hot chocolate for Daisy. To keep his mind busy, he shoveled the driveway and stone path up to their porch twice while he watched Daisy chase Steve through the snow. Afterward, Daisy talked him into helping her build a snowman. There really wasn’t much twisting his arm to be done. The last time he could remember building a snowman was with his mother, just after his father died. That half-hour outside in the freezing cold had their noses bright red and their side hurting from laughing after an impromptu snowball fight his mother started.

He’d done the same with Daisy. Once the snowman was built, scarf-ed, and decorated he’d grabbed a handful of lightly packed snow and tossed it at her. She shrieked with laughter and darted after him with a grin as if prepared for such an event. He laughed and ran, but not fast enough that she couldn’t catch him. She had tackled him to the ground and as they walked back inside after he wondered how long it’d been since he had laughed like they had.

Inside, they all relaxed for the rest of the day. Melinda helped Daisy with her homework (she still had one four more days until her Christmas break) while he did the laundry. He made dinner, and they all watched _How the Grinch Stole Christmas!_ before putting Daisy to bed. Melinda was asleep by the time he got back from walking Steve and if he spooned up behind her when he got into bed well, they were married after all. 

The next morning, he got up early to make breakfast and was just cleaning up his and Melinda’s dishes when she came downstairs.

“Ugh, I hate Mondays.”

At the sight of Melinda, he nearly spat out the drink coffee he had just taken. He was used to seeing Melinda in leggings and workout clothes so when she wore them around the house and to the mall; it wasn’t that much of a change… except for the baby bump, of course. That still had his eyes drifting down with a smile pulling at his lips. 

This look, however, was something even he wasn’t used to. She was wearing a long cream-colored cowl sweater with black slacks. Her hair fell in soft waves down around her shoulders and with make-up that had a little bit more color to it than he was used to.

“Daisy, baby, you need to finish eating so you can finish getting ready for school.” She brushed Daisy’s hair back from her face with her fingers, pulling it up expertly into a ponytail and tying it up with a scrunchie she had around her wrist. She hummed, making a satisfying sound then kissed Daisy’s cheek. “Bye, sweetheart.” Phil went to the sink to rinse his and Melinda’s dishes to keep himself from staring at her. She came up to him and he steeled himself knowing a kiss was coming. “Bye, babe.”

The term of endearment made his heart knock hard in his chest. 

“Bye,” he echoed. “Drive safe.” His eyes widened as her hand slid down his back down, down, down to his... was she...? She smirked at him biting her lower lip mischievously as she squeezed. She was most definitely grabbing his ass. She rose on her toes and kissed him with a quick peck on the lips before she moved away. 

He shook his head chuckling softly. This was a new side of Melinda May he could get used to.

“I should be home tonight in time for class, but I’ll text you if I’m running late.”

He didn’t understand what class meant, but he’d pretend that he did. He’d ask Daisy once she left. “Okay.”

“Paint’s in the garage if you get ambitious,” she teased with a wink.

He bit the side of his cheek to keep from grinning like an idiot at her. To say he loved and missed this playful side of her would be an understatement. “Yes, ma’am.”

At the sink, he watched her pull her black sedan out of the driveway and down the street. A thought occurred to him, so he grabbed a dish to dry and turned towards his daughter… Towards Daisy. “You know, Daisy, there’s a lot of stuff I don’t know. Do you think you can help me out until your daddy gets back?”

She brightened, sitting up straighter on the barstool. “Sure!”

“Okay, great.” Putting the plate on the shelf, he shut the cupboard and tossed the towel over his shoulder. Taking a seat next to her, he asked, “So tell me, where do you go to school?”

She had just scooped a large bite of granola cereal into her mouth. She made a show of chewing before swallowing. “Stone Ridge Elementary. It’s just down the street and around the corner.”

He nodded. That was good for him since he assumed he was the one taking her and picking her up from school. “And what do I do after I take you to school?”

“You go to work, but it’s Christmas break so you just come home.”

“Where do I work?”

“At the college. You help people decide what they want to be when they grow up.”

“Huh. An advisor.” That actually sounds like something he’d do. “And what time do you get out of school?”

“Three-fifteen.”

“Okay.”

“And you _can’t_ be late,” she told him with the most serious face he’d ever seen. Adult or child. “You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be the last one who gets picked up.”

He chuckled. They couldn’t have that, could they? “Got it.” Since little Daisy was now his partner-in-crime, he asked a question that had been on his mind. “And where does Mommy work?”

She tilted her head and through a bite of toast managed a, “With Grandma.”

“Melinda is CIA?” he said mostly to himself in wonderment.

“Mommy said she does lots of paperwork.”

Her tone was solemn, and he nodded matching her tone. “She’s really good at paperwork.”

Daisy raised a brow in a very Melinda like way before shrugging and taking another bite of her cereal. 

She finished her breakfast, and he shooed her upstairs to change. When she came downstairs not wearing socks, he went back upstairs with her making sure she had thick ones to keep her warm and even talked her into a sweater. Making sure she had her homework, they headed out the door.

Melinda left him their SUV and, with Daisy’s directions, they made it to her school with ten minutes to spare. 

“Okay, have a good day,” he told her from the driver’s seat as she had nearly jumped out of her seat in protest when he pulled up alongside the curb and started to get out of the car. She was “too old” for him to help her out of the car. 

“I will,” she told him with a relieved little smile, “and remember don’t-”

“Be late,” he finished for her trying hard not to laugh at the way her eyebrows drew together into a stern look. “I’ve got this,” he assured. Her look was dubious, but she brightened when her little friends ran up to their car. “Goodbye, Daisy,” he called one last time.

“Bye!”

He watched for a minute while she and her friends ran up the steps into the school. A teacher stood at the entrance and waved to him. He waved back and once Daisy was safely inside, drove off.

He made a list that morning of groceries they needed at home. Real or not, his girls needed to eat. At WholeFoods, he picked up organic fruits and vegetables, ingredients to make some of his Melinda’s favorite dishes while hoping that this Melinda liked them too. His gaze slid around occasionally at the other customers and employees, expecting to see Fury pop up while he was reaching for the bananas or eggs.

But he never did see him, and for a little while he drove home thinking of what he needed to get together to paint later that afternoon, Phil forgot about how this all wasn’t real and drove home humming along with the radio’s _Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow._


	5. save you a seat

Later that evening, he and Daisy made their way hand in hand into a very busy, very filled dojo. Children were running around the mats laughing to one side, and adults stretching and carrying on conversations on the other. When Daisy had told him after school what Melinda meant by class, he laughed because of course, that’s what it was.

However, looking around at all the people who would soon watch him make a fool of himself, he wasn’t laughing anymore. 

Not that he didn’t know a thing or two but still. This was a specialty he knew nothing about.

“So this is what we do?” He looked down at Daisy, who stood beside him in her karate uniform. It matched his only instead of a black belt like his, hers was purple. 

Melinda has text earlier in the day just after he picked up Daisy (he arrived thirty minutes early just in case there was traffic) and told him she’d stop by on the way home and that he and Daisy should go without her. Standing there now, he felt relieved that she wouldn’t be there to witness him cluelessly fumble his way through whatever they were about to do.

“Mm-hmm,” Daisy hummed, then in a matter-of-fact kind of tone added, “Mommy says it keeps you in shape because you eat too many sweets.”

He let out a snort. He didn’t eat a lot of sweets. Not always. “Yeah, well, she’s…” Daisy looked up at him waiting for whatever he had to say in his defense which quite frankly, wasn’t much. More times than not, Melinda had smacked his hand whenever he reached for pastries instead of protein bars. “She’s... probably right.”

“Hey, Phil!” A young man in the same gee as he called from across the room as he jogged over to them. “I thought tonight maybe you and Hector could do some demonstrations for the new guys?”

Phil’s gaze slipped over to the three men standing talking in the corner then to the other man with the buzz cut, muscular, with tattoos who had at least a hundred pounds on him. The man gave him a nod, and he realized he was about to get his butt whipped in front of a bunch of newbies and his daughter, and he’d just really rather not. 

“You know, I think I’m going to sit tonight out.” He made a show of grimacing and rubbing his stomach. “I had some bad fish that just didn’t sit well with me. Probably wouldn’t be a good idea.”

The younger man made a face. “Damn, okay, yeah. Take it easy tonight. We’ll save that for next week.”

“Next week sounds great, thanks,” he said, then gestured over to the bleachers on the far side of the room where some of the parents were sitting. “I’m just going to watch Daisy and save Melinda a seat.”

“No worries.” The young man awkwardly clapped him on the shoulder then moved away quickly.

He took a seat in the front row near the door and smiled at Daisy doing warm-ups with the other kids her age. She paid attention and focused when her instructor gave them directions. But every now and then he caught her shooting a look of impatience at one of her teammates when they whined or talked out of turn. Each time he’d chuckle and think how that sure was Melinda’s influence.

About a half-hour into class, there was the sound of the door opening to his left, and he looked over to see Mel. She looked tired but still as perfect as she was when she left that morning. Her eyes widened when she saw him and he patted the spot next to him.

“How was work?”

She shrugged. “Same as always.”

She pulled out a small bag from her purse and reached in, pulled out a piece of something popping it into her mouth. 

“What do you have?” he asked, curiously.

She narrowed her eyes at him and held the bag closer to her. “Ginger bread. And no, you can’t have any. I had too much to get done today and my lunch got cold.”

“I got things to make chicken lo mein tonight.”

Her eyes widened a fraction before she said, “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

He reached up and scratched the back of his neck, feeling his face heat from her words. “Not since this morning.”

“Hmm. Well, I’ll make sure I tell you again after dinner... if it’s good.” Her nose scrunched adorably as she smiled mischievously at him. He was so in love with her, and he very nearly told her but before he could say it, she asked, “Why aren’t you out there?”

He blinked, pulling himself from his love-sick haze. “Oh, I uh, I think I pulled something.” He reaches back and faked a wince while twisting his torso.

“Hmm,” her eyes dropped to where his hand was and she murmured, “maybe it’s my turn to give you a back rub.”

Her tone along with the look in his eyes had him nodding dumbly. In his defense, it would be rude to say no when she was offering.

“Mommy!”

They both looked over in time as Daisy ran over to them, throwing herself into Melinda’s arms. “Hey, baby,” she murmured kissing her cheek. “Let’s go home.”

Later that night, he was looking through a photo album while Mel was upstairs helping Daisy get ready for bed. He would have always thought he’d be the sentimental one. Always taking pictures of Melinda and Daisy, but there was a fair amount here taken by Melinda. Daisy’s first steps with him holding his hands out for her come to… her on his shoulders at Disney World… her first day at kindergarten with him walking her up the steps into the school. How was this world so vivid and detailed? He had quite an active imagination.

Just then, Melinda held out a mug in front of him. He looked up and took the beverage. He hadn’t even heard her come downstairs. 

“Thank you for painting the room today.”

He smiled at the sight of her in cotton shorts and a tank. She’d been complaining of being hot and saying how the baby made her a human furnace all night while he and Daisy were walking around in fleece pajamas. “You’re welcome.”

“I know I was getting on your case but it feels like there’s still so much to do. She’ll be here in five weeks and we don’t even have clothes for her. We need to take a hospital tour, my mother won’t quit bugging me about a Lamaze class, and then there’s choosing a pediatrician.” She looked entirely defeated when she said, “We haven’t even picked out a name for her.”

Reaching out, he pulled her close to his side. “We will,” he assured. 

“I know,” she sighed. “I just feel like we’re going to be scrambling at the last minute like we did when you came back home with Daisy.”

“Daisy was my idea?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them. The hardness that set into her gaze had his backtracking. “I mean, she was.” 

“You know why adopting her was hard for me,” she said so softly he worried that he’d somehow upset her.

“I do. Of course, I do.” Closing the distance between them, he took her gently in his arms. Pressing a kiss to her hair he apologized. “I’m sorry.”

“We’d only been in the field for a few years and adopting Daisy to keep her safe meant giving up our lives. Our careers. I don’t regret it. I just didn’t know right away like you did.” There it was. It was a sense of guilt she felt than a traumatizing feeling like Bahrain had done to her. If he could spare her anything in this world, it would be Bahrain. Looking into her dark eyes he could say that if it meant losing her to Andrew, he’d rather she be happy than have to experience that pain. “You were made to be a father, Phil Coulson.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks and it hit him that even here, even after doing an amazing job loving and raising Daisy she still somehow doubted herself. He reached up and tucked her long bangs back behind her ear. “Taking time before a life-altering decision doesn’t make you a bad mother, Mel. You’re the warmest, most deeply caring woman I’ve ever known. Daisy adores you and so will our baby.”

“I wouldn’t change it. As much of a surprise she was, I’d never change picking us over S.H.I.E.L.D.” This time when she kissed him, it lingered longer than any of the last. His heart thumped loudly in his chest. 

She pulled away, and her warm eyes found his. After a moment, her brow furrowed. “Phil, why do you keep looking at me like that?” she asked, softly.

Like he loved her? Like she was his world? His everything? 

“Like what?”

“Like you did the first time I kissed you.”

He smiled because she would be the one to kiss him first. 

“I just… I love you, Melinda.” It was the truth. In this life and his other. Unable to resist anymore, he captured his lips with hers. If he ever got back to his Melinda, he’d apologize for his weakness. For dreaming of her - them like this. Would she even fault him? Somehow he didn’t think so. But before their kisses could get any more heated, he broke away, jaw-dropping at the feel of movement under his hand. He didn’t even realize he’d put his hand on her belly. “Wait, was that-?”

She smiled. “Your daughter?”

Oh.

_ Oh. _

“Wow.” He knew he should probably tone down his reaction. This couldn’t have been the first time he would have felt the baby move, but it was just so… wow. He felt another jab and chuckled. “Does that hurt?”

“No, but ask me again next month when she’s bigger and there’s no more room.”

He grinned. “If she’s anything like you those little kicks will be fierce.”

“I’m not worried. She’s as gentle as her daddy.” With her fingers on his chin, she directed his attention back to her. Her top teeth sank into her bottom lip before asking, “What do you think of the name Penelope?”

His lips pulled up, his chest filled with even more warmth at the turn of the conversation. “I like it.”

“I know we talked about Madeline, but I think I might like this one more?”

Just when he thought this life couldn’t seem any more real she threw around little details like this that made him question everything around him.

“Why not both?” Madeline Penelope Coulson sounded good to him.

She tucked herself against his side, sliding her fingers through his on her stomach. “It’s a bit of a mouthful for a little girl but maybe.”

Phil closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the next little while feeling the baby and Mel’s breaths against his neck as she fell asleep. Would he be here to meet Madeline or Penelope? He couldn’t honestly say where he’d rather be, and that was becoming a problem.


	6. at the Christmas party hop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not posting yesterday life is so busy, ugh, Christmas man. Hopefully this longer chapter makes up for it. ;) Getting close to the end...

Phil made it through the rest of the week in the same way he did on Monday, minus the karate class. He took Daisy to school, went shopping, finished the baby’s room, cooked dinner, and wrapped all the presents that came via Amazon. He discovered his wife when bored at work had a little online shopping addiction. Presents for him always came wrapped with a note that had a warning or a not so subtle flirty innuendo. All of them left him chuckling and a little more in love with her. 

He never saw Fury, which was as much of a relief as it was annoying. But with Friday came Daisy’s last half-day of school before Christmas on Monday. Mel took the day off, and he thought it was because she wanted a long weekend with them until she asked him when he got back from picking up Daisy if he called to make sure Hannah was going to still babysit that night.

“Babysit?”

Melinda had narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“Um.” _Shit_. He searched his mind for something she might have said over the last week. Some kind of clue like a note on the counter or fridge or a piece of mail but came up with nothing. 

“Jackie’s Christmas party. Phil, we go to it every year.” She stared at him and for a moment he really thought that was it. She’d found him out. But then her expression softened, and she said, “I thought I was supposed to be the one to get pregnancy brain.”

He chuckled and tried to keep his anxiety from showing. “I guess all the work on the baby’s room and Christmas it just slipped my mind.”

“The room looks great,” she said and kissed him sweetly. Of all the things Melinda could surprise Phil with in this new life of his, having to attend a Christmas party sure topped his list on his level of weirdness. Not that he wouldn’t be the sort of guy to go to one, but Melinda… yeah not so much. “I’m going to go call Hannah and then take a bath.” She went to go but then paused and turned toward him. “And something might be dropped off for the baby later.”

He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “Might or will be?”

“Will be. It’ll be pretty big. Watch for it in case the guy needs help.”

The package turned out to be a crib. He had to admit, a really nice one. Dark wood in a sleigh bed style. He’d have fun putting that together over the weekend.

He paused in the hall on his way to the kitchen and listened. He was sure he heard Mel call for him. Taking the stairs two at a time, he made his way into their bedroom and stopped at the closed bathroom door.

“Mel?”

“Yeah, honey, can you help me, please?”

“Are you all right? What’s wrong?” he called through the door trying not to let his panic get the better of him and barge right in.

“What are you doing?” she called, her voice sounding slightly annoyed. Okay, so she was fine. “Come in here.”

He took a deep breath and opened the door. As hard as it was, he kept his eyes trained on hers. The bubbles that had probably once dominated the surface had all but dissipated except for a few around her chest. “You okay?” he asked hesitantly. 

“I need help,” she groused moodily, and he could help but watch as her hands came up out of the water to cradle her belly.

He tilted his head to the side. “Help?”

She let out a frustrated breath. “I can’t get up.”

“Oh.” He probably shouldn’t have but couldn’t help it, he chuckled. Melinda’s eyes narrowed but there was a sparkle to them that told him he was safe from bodily harm. “I suppose I could help you out.” He came into the room and standing with his hands on his hips asked, “How do you want to do this?”

She rolled her eyes. “Just give me a hand.” 

Alarm bells rang a warning in his head how bad of an idea this was, but he couldn’t just leave her there. Stepping up to the side of the tub he took her hands and kept his eyes above her shoulders. Once she was up, he took a step back keeping hold of one of her hands just in case until both of her feet were on the carpeted mat.

“Okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

He swallowed hard as his eyes followed a bead of water down her neck and down further still. He slapped his gaze back into hers and willed the blood in his body not to travel south or for her to notice how affected he was. His voice was barely as rasp when he replied, “No problem.”

But as the universe seemed to be in a conspiracy against him, she had noticed. Her eyes danced with amusement and her lips pulled up in a satisfied smile. “You know when I told you you didn’t have to ogle my breasts so much I didn’t mean you couldn’t look at all.”

Oh, dear God.

“I know… I just…” He took a step back, feeling his face fill with heat. His eyes dropped and fuck... “They’re really, you know, great but I…”

“Daddy!”

Oh, thank you, Daisy. “Coming,” he called and blushed further at Melinda’s raised an eyebrow. “I‘ve got to go help Daisy.”

Melinda shook her head at his abrupt departure and once safely in their bedroom, he gave himself a moment to compose himself. He’d managed to make it four days without getting too close but that time seemed to be dwindling. 

They arrived at the party that night thirty minutes after it started. Their host was one of Melinda’s old friends from the PTA and just lived six blocks away. His palms were sweaty with nervousness. It hit him, as he was dressing for this event, he would have to pretend and interact with a lot of people who knew the other him. 

As soon as they entered the living room, a group of women gathered around Melinda. Most were complimenting on how well she looked, asking questions about how she felt, even giving her unsolicited advice that made Mel’s smile tighten. The look in her eyes when she gazed over at him told him she was doing all she could to keep smiling. It reminded him a lot of their undercover missions together, only the pretend life they had just happened to be real this time around. 

Or, real in his head anyway.

“Hey, Coulson, over here.”

He looked up to see a raised hand waving over the crowd. Phil recognized him as one of their neighbors. He was Phil’s age, with a beard and a large bear-like physique. He raised a hand and gave a slight wave in return. “Hey,… you.”

“Come over here!” The man laughed, and Phil with one last glance at Melinda went over. “We were just talking about the tournament.”

“Oh, right? Looking forward to it.” He nodded, unsure of what else to say. He knew from Monday his neighbor also had a boy in the same class as Daisy. How they thought it was a good idea to schedule a karate tournament the day before Christmas Eve was anyone’s guess. The other two guys he didn’t know and so he just smiled at them. 

“You’re not really going to let Daisy compete?” One man he didn’t know with dark hair and beady eyes asked.

Phil’s brow furrowed. “I am. Why? Is there a problem?”

His neighbor barked a laugh. “No offense, but the string bean doesn’t stand a chance against the boys.”

Ah, they were those kinds of guys. “I think you’re all mistakenly comparing size with strength. No offense, but my wife could kick all your asses without breaking a sweat even in her condition.”

“I wouldn’t mind that…” Beady-eyes said.

Phil’s jaw tightened. If he wasn’t careful, he’d kick the guy’s ass. “Watch it.”

His neighbor snorted. “Whatever, Coulson. Just make sure you pad up your daughter before she spars. Jack’s gonna knock her skinny butt off the mats.”

Phil gave the man a pitying look. Thinking back to Monday he could clearly recall the boy and how he stood in the back hardly taking part. “Seriously? My kid will whip your kid’s ass. That is if you can get his finger out of his nose long enough for him to fight.”

His neighbor took a step forward and Phil stood his ground. One of their “friends” the silent smart one of the group stepped in front of him. “Now fellas, it’s Christmas. Our wives won’t like it much if we start a fight.”

“What’s this? Do I hear raised voices?” They all turned their heads to see a blonde woman in her early forties and too tight red dress coming over to them. “Are you guys not getting along?”

“Just a little friendly competition.” his neighbor said, straightening his ridiculous Christmas sweater with an obnoxious looking reindeer.

Phill rolled his eyes and felt the woman beside him take his arm. “I’m sure,” she said smiling sweetly at the group then to him, asked, “Phil, could I steal you a moment?”

All too happy to leave the group of neanderthals, he gave the woman a nod. “Sure. I’m done with this conversation.”

“Great party of Jackie’s, isn’t it?” she asked when they were out of ear-shot of the others.

He hummed as he walked through the living room and into the kitchen with her. “Yeah, it’s… swell.”

“I’m glad I got you alone,” she said her eyes boring into his. “I’ve been meaning to ask if you could come to my house and take a look at my old car. It just isn’t running right.”

Car? Intrigued, he asked, “Oh? What’s the problem?”

“It’s making a noise and I just can’t figure it out.” She blinked up at him and then again and again. 

He raised a brow. Did she have a twitch? Weird. “I mean, sure, but it’ll have to wait…”

“No, he won’t be available,” said the voice of his wife from behind him. “Do me a favor, Karen and go try to seduce someone else’s husband.” 

Karen’s jaw dropped open and moment before she closed it and fuming, marched away.

Phil turned his gaze on Melinda who was glaring at him. “Did I just hear you and John were fighting?”

John? Oh, that guy. “He was being a twat.”

She crossed her arms and hissed, “John’s always a twat but you can’t go picking a fight at a Christmas party, Phil.”

“Me?” he feigned indignation. “You just told off what’s-her-name.”

Melinda’s lips were set in an unhappy line. “Because she flirts with you every year and won’t keep her hands off you. I had enough.”

Feeling the need to defend himself he stuttered through an explanation, “I.. she… she just wants me to look at her car.”

“She wants you to look at more than her car, Phil.”

Looking at her, he realized this was the first time he’d ever seen Mel jealous and it made him feel a bit more smug about the whole thing than he probably should be. “Hmm, I’ve never really seen the green-eyed monster in you before.” He took a step toward her and then another, taking her hand and pulling her to him. She rolled her eyes but brought up her arms to wrap around his shoulders. “I blame the glasses. They give off that nerdy professor vibe chicks dig.”

Her lips twitched up. “Chicks dig it, hm?”

“Come on, admit it. You know you find it super sexy.” Her gaze fell from his eyes to his lips and he decided what the hell and leaned forward and kissed her. It was getting easier to do. Kiss his wife. It also helped that she was very, very good at it. 

“You wanna ditch this place?”

“What?”

She brushed her cheek against his, and whispered, “We have a babysitter until eleven. This place is lame. Let’s get out of here.”

All he could do when he felt her take his hand was grin and nod dumbly. She was right. This party was lame. 

Ditching the party comprised driving to WholeFoods and getting to of the biggest pieces of chocolate cake and Nesquik strawberry milk and going back home to relieve their babysitter early.

Melinda went upstairs to make sure Daisy was still asleep while he set the kitchen island with candles and cake on their fancy plates and their strawberry glasses of milk in wine glasses. 

She came downstairs in just a tee-shirt and a smile. 

“What’s all this?”

He smiled and held out a hand. “This is how parents with a nine-year-old and a baby on the way ditch a lame Christmas party.”

She laughed as he slid the barstool out for her but took a seat when he held out his hand to help her up.

They ate their cakes while chatting about Christmas and reminiscing about their fondest memories from their childhoods. He could tell Mel was getting tired so when she finished off her milk he rinsed the dishes and blew out the candles.

He held out his hand to help her off the barstool and was about to let go when she tugged him toward her. He went willingly, which was his first mistake. Their kiss was soft and sweet but soon he found himself lost in the feel of her and before he knew it the kiss heated into something more. Her hands slid up his chest and when he felt her fingers start to unbutton his shirt he broke off their kiss leaning his head down to rest against hers. When she reached up for him he took her hands in his. Kissing her was one thing. He couldn’t do this. Not like this. “Mel…”

She pulled back, and with a twist of his gut, he realized she looked hurt. “Phil, is there something wrong? It seems like you’ve been distant from me lately. Am I…” she started then paused looking down. He could have sworn he saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes. “If you don’t find me attractive anymore, you can just say so…”

His eyes widened. She couldn’t be serious. “Hey, Mel, that’s not what this is about at all.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly while he struggled to formulate a better response. “You have no idea how much I want you… especially when you’re… like this.”

He wasn’t ashamed to admit seeing Mel pregnant with his child was an incredible turn on. Even if he hadn’t been the one to… 

“Then what is it? Is it the baby?” she asked.

“Yep,” he answered automatically, latching on to the excuse for dear life. “It’s the baby. I don’t want to…”

“Phil, the baby will be fine,” she said interrupting him, her tone gentling into something reassuring almost as if this wasn’t the first time they were having this conversation.

“I know, but still,” he replied.

“Okay, that’s fine,” Melinda said, flatly. “I know that’s not what it is but…”

She moved like she was going to walk around him. “Mel…” He took her gently by the arms, pleading with her to look at him.

“No, I understand, Phil,” she said, shaking her head while placing a hand on her belly. “I get it.”

Jesus, he was an idiot.

“The first time I saw you I knew you were it,” he blurted out. Her expression softened. “You were the toughest, smartest, most beautiful woman in the academy. You literally knocked me off my feet and every day since then those feelings never changed, they’ve only grown. Through our ups and our downs, our time apart, and together I’ve always known and the fact that you might… that you’d want to be with me… continues to blow my mind.”

She smiled, and good. That was good. He’d take that smile. “And you are without a doubt the sexiest pregnant woman I’ve ever seen. You can’t even begin to imagine how much I want you. How much I’ve always wanted you.”

“That’s some smooth-talking.”

“What can I say? I’m inspired.”

She rolled her eyes, but her soft smile told him she wasn’t immune to his cheesiness. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Despite his words, there was still that look. That hurt and doubt in her eyes. She could hide her emotions from most people but not him. While he believed in his heart that this was all a dream, that this was all too good to be true, he’d wake up and it would all be over, there was still a small part of his heart that whispered what if, and if this was real then what the hell was he doing? Here she was _his_ Melinda, and all she wanted was for him to love her. Decision made, he closed the few feet between them. “You know what…”

He didn’t finish his thought and instead leaned down, gripped her thighs and in a quick swoop, gently lifted her onto the countertop.

Melinda’s arms came up around his neck, a surprised, albeit happy smile on her face. “I don’t know, but I have a feeling you’re going to show me.”

He cupped her face in between his palms, murmured, “Damn right I am,” and kissed her. 


	7. I'll be home for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say I love them? Cause I do. So much.

The following day Phil bounced on the balls of his feet waiting for Melinda by the seating area of the arena. The martial art association reserved the stadium for the competition. Daisy had twenty more minutes before she was scheduled to compete, so Melinda went off to the bathroom one final time before her match started. 

She’d been gone longer than he was comfortable with. His eyes slid frequently from the area down where Daisy was warming up with her classmates and the stairs where Melinda had gone up. He was just about to go check on her when he saw her come around the corner. 

A grin pulled his lips up and up. In one hand, she carried a large cherry icee and in the other a giant cookie. 

“Don’t say a thing,” she warned when she was in earshot.

He shook his head and vowed, “I wouldn’t dare.”

When they were both seated again, she asked, “Where is she?”

“Over there in the corner.”

“Do you think she’s nervous?”

She handed him her icee and feeling touched that she’d share the thing she’d been craving all day, took a nice long sip before replying with a, “Nah, I’d say she’s pretty confident.”

“Are you sure you want to sit this one out? There’s still time to sign up.”

“No, that’s all right. I’m sitting this one out. My back’s still sore.”

Her cheeks tinged with a lovely rosy huge. To say she had been eager the night before would be a supreme understatement. “Sorry about that.”

“Stop,” he said, chuckling and leaning over to kiss her cheek. “It was totally worth it.”

She turned her face towards him, and his heart filled with warmth. Her lips were stained red from the frozen drink and he wondered if they tasted as good as they looked. Spoiler alert, they did. 

Both took off their helmets and bowed. With that, the helmets returned, each took their stance, and the referee gave them the call to begin. 

It had to be the most painful minute of his life. He couldn’t believe the kids were in the same class. The boy just kept dancing around her while Daisy waited patiently to find an opening before attacking.

“Ugh, sweep him off his feet, baby. Knock his ass to the ground.”

Phil looked over at his wife, biting his cheek to keep from laughing. “You’re so aggressive today.”

“I’ll show you aggressive later.” She bumped her shoulder against his making him grin. But that grin fell as immediately as it had come when he watched Daisy receive a kick to the face. Melinda stood. “Oh my God, is she okay?”

Phil stood too, wrapping his arm around her back and pulling her close to his side. He let out a breath watching as Daisy rolled to her side, her sensei speaking to her from the side of the mats. “She’s fine, Mel.”

“I’ll kill the little bastard,” Melinda growled. 

“Babe, she’s fine, look.” Relief filled him when Daisy stood and shook her head. “She’s getting up.”

Mel cupped her hands around her mouth and encouraged, “Come on, baby!”

“You’ve got this, Daisy!” he added.

Daisy’s head turned, and she quickly gave them both a sign she heard them. 

Mel laughed. “The thumbs up. She’s such a little nerd like her dad.”

He looked over at her. He was sure the pride he felt was reflecting in his eyes because she rolled hers. A moment later the match started again, and he held his breath as the same dance between the two kids started once again. 

Daisy waited for her opening and as soon as the kid lunged toward her Daisy spun and with a kick to his side scored two points. With the penalty point they had given her she only needed to get another kick, and she’d win. He’d always heard the expression of feeling your heart in your throat and he always thought he knew what they meant by that but standing there watching his daughter… waiting and hoping… he only truly knew how it felt.

Again she waited, the kid made a few close jabs, but she blocked them expertly. He was cheering for her in his head, his excitement making him reach out and take Mel’s hand who seemed to be holding her breath. A few more moments of that kid dancing around Daisy on the mat and it was more than he could take. “Take him out, Daisy!” he called and just at that moment Daisy spun into a back kick and nailed the kid right in the chest. 

He and Mel’s hands both tightened around each other as the referee held up Daisy’s arm and announced her as the winner. They proudly watched from the stands while Daisy celebrated with her teammates. It wasn’t long before she was running up the stairs over to them. 

Her face lit up with her wide happy smile. “Did you see? I won!”

“Yeah, we saw!” Phil picked her up off the ground, hugging her tight. 

Once he put her back down on her feet, Melinda kneeled awkwardly beside her and cupped her face between her hands. “You did so well. I’m so proud, baby.” After hugging her she pulled Daisy back and brushed the hair that had fallen from her braid out of her eyes. “How’s your head? Do you feel okay?”

Daisy giggled. “I’m fine. It didn’t hurt it just made me mad.”

“She’s her mother’s daughter,” Phil chuckled even when Melinda shot him a glare. “Man, this trophy’s heavy. I don’t think it’ll fit in the car.”

Daisy rolled her eyes but her smile never fell. “Yeah, it will.”

Melinda stood and held out her hand. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Daisy took his and Melinda’s hands. “Can we get pizza for dinner?”

“We can have whatever you want,” he told his daughter.

Mel smiled. “And then afterward we can have your daddy stop and get us some ice cream on the way home.”

They stopped for dinner at Daisy’s favorite pizza place. He and Melinda filled up most on salad and breadsticks while daisy ate her way through a small pineapple and olive pizza. In the back, they had a small arcade and so when they were all full they all went in the back where they raced cars, fought a few rounds in Street Fighter, and he watched mournfully as Mel beat his high score in pinball.

They all had such a good time that it wasn’t until he pulled into the driveway that he remembered he forgot to stop at the store. “Oh hell, we forgot the ice cream.”

“Oh no,” Daisy moaned from the back. 

He met Melinda’s gaze, and even she looked a little disappointed. With a sigh, he put the car into park. “Go take Daisy inside. I’ll run and grab some and be right back.”

“Thanks, honey.”

He waited to see them both go inside the house before putting the car in reverse.

On the way to the store, he relieved all the little moments from the last couple of days. Moments with Daisy having breakfast and listening to her music, moments with him and Melinda just watching TV while he felt the baby move and the intimate moments that sent his blood pounding and his breath catching.

He always imagined Mel would be a passionate partner, but even what he imagined hadn’t prepared him for how it would actually be.

He made his way to the back of the store and grabbed a gallon of Mel’s favorite and a pint of cotton candy for Daisy. He was still so much in his own thoughts that he didn’t even recognize the man behind the counter until he placed the ice cream on the counter.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in.”

His eyes widened in horror. No. “You.”

“Phil!” Nick Fury smiled widely at him.

Dread filled him. Had him shaking his head and backing away. “No, I know why you’re here. I’m not going back, not now.”

Silence stretched between them. He hadn’t known what he would say to Fury if he’d seen him again. By his silence and the man in front of him, he surprised them both. 

The look in Fury’s eyes might have been mistaken for empathy if Phil didn’t know any better. “I thought you liked your life just how it was?”

“This is wrong.” He shook his head, anger building in his gut. What would happen to them? To his family? He hadn’t been there that long. What about the baby? “You can’t just do this to someone.”

“Do what exactly?”

“Give someone a family and then take it away like it doesn’t matter. I’m not going back.” He pulled his wallet out from his back pocket and thumbed through the bills. Looking up at the man who inspired him for years, he took a step towards the counter. “Melinda’s pregnant. She wants ice cream.” He tossed a twenty-dollar bill in front of him and grabbed the mint chocolate chip. “If you’ll excuse me I need to get back to her.”

“It’s time to wake up, Phil,” Fury called, but he ignored him.

Phil walked through the door and didn’t look back, unwilling to think about how this all wasn’t real. 


	8. can we always be this close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but this might hurt a little. The final chapter will be up later tonight. Enjoy. Oh, and the song playing is Lover Remix with Sean Mendes.

Christmas Eve came and went faster than he liked. Before he knew it, it was bedtime and while Daisy went upstairs to shower; he used the time to get a moment alone with her mother. Stealing his daughter’s iPad, he pulled up all the music they’d been listening to that day.

Walking into the living room, he pulled up the song he heard earlier and turned up the volume, went over to the sofa where Melinda was reading.

He held out his hand. “Dance with me?”

She arched a brow at him but the tips of her lips rose. She sighed when he raised his brow in response and took his hand. “Taylor Swift, really?”

“Hey, according to our daughter, we’re Swifties in this house.”

She let out a soft laugh but stepped closer until she could rest her head on his shoulder. It was a little awkward with her belly between them, but they made it work. 

_Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?_

_Can I go where you go_

_Can we always be this close_

The lyrics seemed a little too poignant, so he distracted himself with, “See dancing with me isn’t so bad.”

Her head rose from his shoulder to look up at him. The soft smile she gave him made his heart knock hard in his chest. “You’re the only one I’ve danced with. The only one I want to dance with.”

_We could light a bunch of candles_

_And dance around the kitchen, baby_

_Pictures of when we were young would hang on the wall_

His eyes closed. God help him, he didn’t want to lose this but if he was; he was going to hold her like this as long as he could.

_See, I finally got you now, honey, I won’t let you fall_

_Can I go where you go_

Melinda laughed softly and gestured with a tilt of her head over at the stairs. “I see you, little miss,” she told Daisy, who sat on the stairs in her pajamas watching them. She giggled at being caught by them and Melinda added, “Did you brush your teeth?” Daisy shook her head. “You better so you can help your dad put out cookies and milk for Santa.”

“Ooh, okay!”

“Do you want help?” she asked covering a yawn with the back of her hand.

“No, go upstairs. I’ve got this.”

“Don’t be too long,” she told him lifting on her toes to kiss his cheek.

“Can we stay up and wait for Santa?” she asked him, bouncing on her bed.

“Nope, we’ve got to go to bed or he’ll never come.” He held out his arms and Daisy jumped up into them, hugging him close.

He hugged her back and placed a kiss to her brow before lowering her into bed and tucking her in. 

Daisy brushed her hair out of her face and asked, “Do you think he’ll remember I wanted a purple scooter?”

He chuckled, knowing full well Melinda had in foxy ordered her a purple scooter. It was currently hiding in the garage waiting for him to come get it and place a big red ribbon on it. “I’m sure he knows. Santa has a way of figuring that stuff out.”

“That’s true. He already knew I wanted a sister.”

He nodded, unwilling to correct her how and why her sister got there. _That_ was a conversation for her and Melinda. “Totally Santa’s doing.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek, then pulled the covers up around her. “Get some sleep.”

But before he could get away her little arms came up and wrapped around his neck hugging him again. “I knew they’d bring you back. Just in time for Christmas.”

His breath caught, emotion welling in his chest making it so tight he could hardly speak. He would miss little inquisitive Daisy. Miss the opportunity to see her grow up with parents who loved her. What kind of young lady she would be. And yet, he felt privileged to have this time with her. He would take her with him back to where he belonged. Once he gained his composure he whispered, “Yeah they did. I love you, Daisy.”

“I love you too.” She yawned and snuggled into her pillow. “Goodnight.”

“Good night, Angel Eyes,” he whispered, bringing up a hand to brush it over her head until her eyes drifted closed.

Back in the hall, Steve sat as if waiting for him. He bent down and called the pup over. He ran to him, tail wagging furiously. Phil prepared himself for the puppy licks and pet his coat. “What do you say, boy? One last walk?”

The puppy barked once, then shot down the hall and down the stairs.

When he returned, he locked up the house and made his way slowly upstairs pausing here and there to fold a blanket Mel had used to cover with while dozing on the couch, look at a picture, and Daisy’s art on the fridge.

In their room, Mel glanced up from the book she was reading. “Is Steve with Daisy?”

“Yep, they’re both out like lights.” he went over to the dresser and took out a pair of pajama pants and a white tee. “As jazzed up as she is about Santa, I thought it’d take a lot longer for her to go to sleep tonight.”

“Only a few more years left of her believing in all of that.”

He swallowed hard knowing he wouldn’t be there to see it. Climbing into the bed beside her, he reached out and caressed his hand over her belly. “Yeah, but she’ll believe for this one.”

Her hand fell over his. “True.”

He wasn’t sure who leaned toward the other first, but soon they were locked in a sweet lingering kiss. “Mmm, have I told you recently how much I love you?”

She pretended to ponder that, pressing her lips together and narrowing her eyes until she finally said, “Not in the last few hours.”

He shook his head at her antics. God, he would miss this so much. “I love you.”

She kissed him sweetly, gently. “I love you.”

“Hey, I want you to do something for me,” he said and took her hand to thread their fingers together.

She raised a brow, curious. “What’s that?”

“Remember this,” he said, his tone coming out much more rough with emotion than he intended. “This moment. Us together like this with Daisy sleeping down the hall and the baby.”

“Phil…” her face suddenly lost all its humor. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

He was such an idiot for worrying her. Backtracking, he kissed her, then assured, “No, I just want to remember this perfect Christmas. Someday one of us might have to remind the other of it.”

Her shoulders fell and her eyes lost that worried look. “I won’t forget.”

“Promise?” he asked, needing to hear her say it and feel it because if this was all a dream he needed to know that maybe somehow, someway his Mel might remember. Even if it was ridiculous, he needed that hope.

She half-heartedly rolled her eyes. “I promise you big goof.” 

He grinned. God, he loved her. “I’m you’re big goof.”

Her look was smug, proud. “Damn right you are.”

He kissed her then, but then she yawned against his lips and chuckled. Adjusting them down in bed, he pulled her against his chest. Her belly rested against his side and his hand rose to her stomach. For a while, neither of them spoke until movement under his hand made him smile. 

“I feel a foot,” he murmured against her hair. 

She hummed, bringing her hand up to rest on his chest. “She likes to move when I’m ready for bed. I’m so tired.”

“Get some sleep,” he murmured. When her deep and even breaths told him she was asleep he whispered again, “I love you,” knowing that when he woke, it wouldn’t be to this life.


	9. forever and ever

The moment he knew he was back wasn’t from opening his eyes but from feeling incredibly and thoroughly cold. His body ached like it hadn’t before. The pounding in his head rivaled that time he’d gotten wasted in the academy and woke up on a pool table with Mel snoring softly underneath. It was all her fault he drank so much that night, but this he only had to blame was himself.

The next thing he knew there was a voice beside him. A voice he recognized. Jemma’s voice. “He’s waking up… Sir… Open your eyes, please, Sir.”

Another voice, this one close and soft beside his head. “Phil? Phil, can you hear me?”

Mel.

“Sir, I need you to squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”

He would have laughed if it wouldn’t have split his head open. Which hand? They both had one. He squeezed both. “Phil, that’s it.” 

Mel again. She sounded happy. Why did she sound so happy?

“Melinda?”

She squeezed his hand between hers. “I’m here. I’m right here.”

Sleep pulled at him, threatened to take him down for more, but he forced the feeling away and blinked his eyes open. She looked like hell. But a beautiful hell. There was dirt on her face, and blood on her chin that was probably his. Then he remembered the wear house and Fury. Mel and Daisy. “It was a dream.”

“What was?” she asked, her warm brown eyes never leaving his. 

“Us,” was all he managed before the blackness swam around him and took him once again. 

Christmas morning he woke in his own bed. 

It was early afternoon when he decided he had enough sleep, but even then, he just wanted to lie there and think. Or not think. He’d rather not imagine the day ahead, about leaving his bunk, about facing the people who he had dreamed another life with.

Exhausted didn’t begin to describe what he was feeling. After Jemma released to his room to rest, he laid awake for what felt like hours, his mind not wanting to settle. Finally, he drifted off sometime early in the morning, which explained the deep feeling of exhaustion he was feeling now. Every time he had tried to empty his mind, the image of Mel and little Daisy would flash in his mind, and he would get angry.

Which was stupid because they weren’t real.

He fell back against the pillows with a heavy sigh and ran a hand over his face. He couldn’t hang onto this. It’d happened, it showed him that there were other possibilities. What he did with this knowledge going forward was now up to him. He could still have that life. He just had to take a chance if it wasn’t too late.

Mind made up, he got up and dressed.

He didn’t let himself think if she might be gone or who might be with her, just raised his fist and knocked on her door. 

She opened the door, and he blinked at the sight of her in workout leggings and an academy tee. Her long dark hair fell around her shoulders in soft waves, giving her this relaxed look he’d gotten so used to seeing it made his heart clench in his chest. 

“Hey,” she said with a soft welcoming smile.

God, he missed her. 

“Hey,” he replied.

“You almost died on me again,” she told him with a look that was as reproachful as it was sad. 

“I know.” She held open the door and stuffing his hands in his pockets went inside. Turning towards her, he gave her the biggest smile he could under the circumstances. “I should probably stop doing that.”

“I’m guessing since you’re here, you want to talk about what happened?”

He nodded. “I do. I just don’t know where to start. It’s pretty wild.”

“Like you’ve said, wild’s our wheelhouse.” There must have been something she could read in his features because she assured, “Come on, there’s nothing you can’t tell me.”

“You might want to sit down.”

They both got comfortable. He on a chair and her on the edge of her bed. He thought best to take a blow by blow approach, keeping his personal feelings out of it. Sticking to just facts was what they did or tried to do.

With a deep breath, he started at the beginning, with his vision of Fury, through the days he spent trying to figure out how to wake up, then slowly how he knew he was about to leave. When he finished, Melinda’s eyes were suspiciously wet.

“Oh.”

He rubbed his hands over his face. He was so tired, and he’d been sleeping for over twenty-four hours now. Letting out a breath, he nodded. “Yeah, pretty pathetic, huh?”

She tilted her head to the side, softening her features along with her tone as she asked, “Pathetic?”

“The dream… hallucination… whatever you want to call it.” He waved his hand in the air. 

“Hey, there’s nothing pathetic about dreaming about a life like that. In all honesty, I feel a bit jealous. It sounds like a nice dream.”

Her smile and hand on his knee filled him with the comfort he’d been missing though it’d only been a day without her, it felt like forever. He put his hand over hers. “It was pretty great.”

“Well, I guess I should probably confess something.”

His jaw clenched. He knew it. She was going to tell him about her and what’s-his-face. “What’s that?”

“Hang on a second.” She got to her feet and went over to her dresser. Opening the top drawer, he watched as she pulled something from it. His eyes widened, and he got to his feet. “They were supposed to be for Christmas but since you seem to think I’m seeing someone I might as well put you out of your misery now.”

Phil’s mouth dropped open slightly. “What… holy shit, Mel?” His Captain America cards. He couldn’t believe she got them. He never thought he’d be able to find them again. Not in such great condition. “Where did you-”

“Agent Harrison tracked them down for me. His dad owns a string of antique shops that carry card collections.”

So she wasn’t seeing Harrison. She was just talking to him to track down his Christmas present. Relief like he’d ever known threatened to make his legs give out. He hadn’t missed his chance after all.

“But this must have cost you…” he began.

“The cost doesn’t matter,” she said, interrupting him. 

Beyond touched, he looked back down at the mint cards in his hands. “I can’t believe you got me these. I didn’t get the chance to go out and get you anything.”

“It’s all right.”

A silence filled the room then. He should tell her he loved her. The words were there just waiting to be said. But for some reason, he couldn’t say them. 

“I guess I should go.”

Her lips pressed together, she looked for a moment she might say something but then she nodded.

He reached for the door handle but stopped himself. What the hell was he doing? 

“We never regretted the day we left S.H.I.E.L.D and adopt Daisy together,” he began, turning slowly to face her. “She’s so much more trouble as a ten-year-old than she is now. She was in karate and you’d have been so proud at her tournament. She kicked the butt of the biggest bully in her class. Just totally left the little shit and his equally problematic father crying on the sidelines.” She looked like she was holding back a smirk, and he clarified, “Not that as parents we promote violence, but he really had it coming. She’s sweet and caring, and believe it or not, she gets her softness from you. From all the nights, you cuddle with her after dinner while watching a movie or reading her a book before bed.” 

He bit his lip, wondering if he should mention the baby, but in an instant dismissed his hesitation. She’d want to know. “Our baby is a girl. We decided on a name. At least, I think we did. You loved Madeline but ever since Daisy suggested Penelope, after a character in her favorite movie, you’re undecided. You liked the nicknames for both, but I’m pretty sure she would have ended up Penelope May-Coulson. I never got to meet her, but I can still feel the impression of her foot when you put my hand on your stomach, and I can close my eyes and still see the little profile picture of her we have taped to the fridge.” He paused because he knew if he said another word his voice would break. She took a step toward him and the look in her eyes, the love behind them helped him continue. “She’ll look like you. Beautiful, with your dark hair and eyes.”

Tears began to fall down her cheeks, and he knew his weren’t far behind. 

“And you… you’re still the same only, we’re together. It’s amazing in a way I wish I could accurately describe. It’s domestic and familiar. We still flirt and there’s still that tension that’s always been there, and even after ten years of being together it still feels new. And not just new because it was all a figment of my imagination… and I was experiencing it for the first time...” She rolled her eyes but her smile was big and brighter than he could remember seeing in a long time. Taking a chance, the chance he should have taken long ago, he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I want that life, Melinda. I know it would be different and I’m not saying we have to have a child… I mean unless you want to…. I’m not shutting the door on that…”

“Phil…” she murmured and pressed her hand to his chest.

He placed his hand over hers, squeezing it gently. “I told Fury I didn’t need anything, but that isn’t true. I need you. And I’m really hoping because you thought it was a nice dream, you might feel the same. You’re everything to me. I love you.”

The next thing he knew she closed the distance between them and was in his arms. Turning his head, he breathed in the smell of her - of her shampoo, her perfume, the smell locked in his heart. The only smell he ever wanted to smell for the rest of his life.

Her hand came up, and he closed his eyes at the feel of her fingers running through his hair at the back of his neck, her fingernails grazing lightly. “I love you, too.”

He drew forward and kissed her, lingering long enough to feel her hand rest softly against his cheek. Her thumb trailed back and forth over his stubble until they came apart. He leaned back only enough to look down into the warm eyes he loved so much. “Yeah?” he mused. 

She rolled her eyes and then arching a teasing brow, said, “Shut up and kiss me. We’ll talk about the rest of that life later.”

Her lips pulled up, making him smile in return. With his hand against her back, he eased her forward, and she met him for a light brush of lips.

And just like that _their_ story began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed. Thank you so much for reading everyone. Merry Christmas.


End file.
